Living with Hair-Pulling Disorder
( Trichotillomania)
I remember being 12, going to my room to do homework and a few pages in I would find myself alongside the desk and the floor covered with my scalp hair, it wasn’t falling out, I pulled it without even noticing. By the time I turned 16, I had lost 40% of my hair and bold patches everywhere on my scalp especially in the crown area.
It was then when I realized that I’ve got a hair Pulling Disorder called Trichotillomania (trich).
In this article, we’ll be covering the medical aspect of trich, how it affects your day to day life and what could you do to cope with such an apparent disorder.
What is Trichotillomania?
It’s an impulsive control disorder characterized by an overwhelming urge to repeatedly pull out one’s own hair, resulting in repetitive hair pulling and subsequent hair loss. The hair on the scalp is most often affected. The eyelashes, eyebrows, and beard can also be affected. Some affected individuals chew and/or swallow (ingest) the hair they have pulled out.
The definition sounds rather direct and to the point however it took me four years to get diagnosed. let me tell you why.
The core symptoms of trichotillomania are repetitive pulling of one’s own hair causing significant distress. Usually, the person with trich attempts to stop or decrease the pulling rate, However, the severity of pulling greatly varies from one individual to another.
Trichotillomania may be mild and manageable, it may occur temporarily, it may disappear for months or years to reoccur and sometimes it’s chronic and uncontrollable.
Some individuals only pull when they are stressed. Some of them don’t even notice that they are pulling; They would be reading a book, working on their laptop or scrolling social media and catch themselves pulling. (1)
The habits that come with pulling vary, from only pulling then throwing away the hair to eating the roots of the hair and/or ingesting the full hair. Usually, people don’t feel pain when pulling but some cases reported feeling a mild pain, some enjoy the popping sound of the root being pulled out.
All these varieties make it hard to diagnose such a disorder, especially in severe cases. as we enter a loop of pulling, going partially bald, then start pulling again once the hair grows back. It causes a constant change in our appearance it gets difficult to interact in social occasions and pulling in public is our worst nightmare.
she took a picture every day for 6 years where we can observe the major change of appearance she had over the years.
The Overwhelming experience of trichotillomania makes it coexists with other mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, OCD and ADHD. which makes it mistaken for a symptom and not a disorder by itself. In most cases, including my own experience, it was considered under the umbrella of self-harm.
Also, it’s hard to be taken seriously when going to a psychiatrist as there are people with less severe symptoms who were able to overcome trichotillomania so technically you just sound like many other patients who are in a state of denial to their abilities to win over a disorder.
So How is it like to live with Trichotillomania?
Having lived with Trichotillomania since I was 12, I’ve heard a lot of questions and advice from relatives and strangers! Even though they were trying to help, some of the advice and questions were irrelevant and other questions were really good.
Let me through in some of Frequently asked questions and advice!
Is There a Cure for Trichotillomania?
Unfortunately, there is no direct cure yet. But there are a lot of techniques and types of therapy that could help such as CBT and anxiety medications.
Can’t you just distract yourself!
It’s a bad habit you just need to break it!
well, in most cases, people with trichotillomania are not aware that they are pulling. It’s like a muscle reflex or being on auto-pilot. It takes time and practice to be aware that you are pulling.
Sometimes, we get tingling/itching episodes in a specific spot, with hair, which makes it hard not to pull. In this case, we are aware that we are pulling however if we didn’t pull most likely we’ll get a headache or heat waves that are very irritating it simply hurts.
You are self-harming.
It’s not self-harm, cause we really want to stop. we do not accept how we look with bald patches. It makes us very anxious.
The simple occasion of going to the beach or it suddenly starts raining; we really panic as the water would mess up the hairdo that we spent hours on, to try and cover our bald spots. In case the patches are coverable.
Did you start pulling again?
Having trichotillomania is just like having diabetes. we don’t ask diabetics to be strong enough and stop having this reaction to sugar. we don’t doubt their self-discipline or their strength. so a question like this one is very frustrating yet it’s very simple. we pull cause we have a mental health disorder!
You shaved your head again?!
After 10 years of living with trichotillomania, I really needed a break for myself and for my roots. So in December 2017, I decided to shave my head to cut the loop. After shaving I was able to spend 11 months without pulling. It was very hard to stop for that long and it felt awful to find myself pulling again, However, I was able to give my roots a chance to gain their strength.
When you are in the loop of pulling, your roots get very exhausted. The quality of hair that grows back is not as good as the ones that were pulled out and as you grow old the hair gets thinner and thinner. That’s why some people tend to shave from time to time.
Do boys get Trichotillomania Too?
It’s more common in girls than boys, the textbook case is that you start pulling right after puberty, The pulling gets really out of control through teen years however it gets better as you enter your twenties.
Is Trichotillomania that Common?
It’s an estimation of 0.5% to 2.0% of the world’s population. Although it’s hard to get an exact percentage as there is not enough research done on this disorder. Also as the symptoms vary from one person to the other on a wide spectrum makes it it’s hard to put it under the radar.
But over the years I’ve met a lot of hairdressers who are aware of such condition even though they aren’t familiar with the medical terms. I’ve also been lucky to contact people in my community who have Trichotillomania in both sever and mild manners.
There is a Light at the end of the tunnel.
Recently, I came across a TEDx talk where Aneela Idnani, a mental health advocate created the Keen the habitaware smart bracelet, It senses your specific behavior and sends a gentle vibration making you aware that you are pulling. which technically solves 50% of the problem.
In the past 5 years, more research has been done on Trichotillomania giving us hope that a cure might be discovered soon.
Most importantly, you are not alone. More people every day start sharing their trich-stories all over social media to help raise awareness, sharing their coping mechanisms and supporting one another.